What Excites Us!

Feel Safe in Your Body Again: incl. a guided nervous system practice to rebuild trust

What if your body isn’t broken… it’s protecting you?
After trauma, many people feel disconnected from their bodies. Touch can feel overwhelming. Pleasure can feel distant. And safety can feel like something that belongs to other people.
In this masterclass replay with trauma recovery coach Arci Grey, we explore how to begin rebuilding trust with your body through gentle, guided nervous system practices you can follow along with.
This episode includes grounding exercises, breathwork, and simple somatic tools designed to help you reconnect with yourself without forcing or pushing past your edges.
We also talk about shame, dissociation, and why your body’s responses during trauma don’t mean what you may have feared they meant.
Healing doesn’t happen by overriding your body.It happens by learning to feel safe inside it again.
You are not broken.And you don’t have to rush.
In this episode, we explore:
• Why safety must come before pleasure• The difference between sex, intimacy, and pleasure• How trauma affects the nervous system and body trust• Why shame after trauma is so common• What genital non-concordance is and why it matters• How dissociation and disconnection show up in daily life• Gentle, guided exercises to help you reconnect with your body• How small, repeatable practices create lasting change
This episode includes guided nervous system exercises you can follow along with, including grounding, breathwork, and somatic awareness practices designed to help you reconnect with your body in a way that feels supportive and safe.
This is not about forcing yourself forward.This is about starting exactly where you are.
Explore more episodes and resources:https://whatexcitesus.com
Learn more about Arci Grey:https://arcigrey.com
If this episode resonated, follow the show and share it with someone who might need this reminder.
Safety, trust, and pleasure can be rebuilt.One small step at a time.

Chemistry Isn't Enough: The 3 Pillars to Great Sex with Deborah Kat

Chemistry can spark attraction… but it rarely sustains intimacy.In this episode, Gwyn Isaacs talks with Deborah Kat about what actually carries relationships past the honeymoon phase: empowerment, communication, and pleasure skills.
If you’ve ever felt deeply connected at first… and then slowly confused about why desire faded, this conversation offers a grounded, compassionate reframe.
Deborah Kat is a sex expert, tantric educator, professional dom, and host of The Better Sex Podcast. Together, she and Gwyn unpack the myth that chemistry alone is enough and explore the real skills that sustain intimacy over time… skills most of us were never taught.
This episode dives into Deborah’s three pillars of great sex and relationships:
Empowerment — knowing your yes, your no, and your wants
Communication — timing, tone, nervous system safety, and repair
Pleasure skills — touch, attunement, curiosity, and practice
Along the way, they talk about how cultural scripts (romance novels, sitcoms, movies) quietly sabotage real relationships, why fantasies don’t equal obligations, and how treating relationship like a lab instead of a performance can bring more ease, safety, and desire.
You’ll also hear:
Why willingness and permission matter more than “doing it right”
How pleasure is a learned skill, not instinct
Common communication mistakes couples make around sex
How to start hard conversations without pressure or shutdown
A grounding boundary practice for knowing what’s yours (and what’s not)
This is a thoughtful, practical, deeply human conversation about intimacy as something you practice, not something you magically master.
Links & Resources
Deborah Kat’s website + Relationship Lab PDF: https://deborahkat.comDeborah’s podcast: The Better Sex Podcast
Join Gwyn’s email list: https://whatexcitesus.comLearn more about the Reclaiming You in person retreat: ReclaimingYou.net
Sponsor: Momotaro ApothecaPlant-based intimate care supporting vulva comfort and pleasureUse code GWYN20 for 20% off: https://momotaroapotheca.com

From Survivor to Sovereign - Trauma, Identity, and Embodied Leadership with Dr. Lisha Antiqua

From survivor to sovereign … without turning “healing” into a full-time job.
Dr. Lisha Antiqua (soul psychologist, founder of Your Own University) joins me for a conversation about post-traumatic growth, identity reclamation, and why trauma is an injury … not a life sentence, not a personality trait, and definitely not proof you’re broken.
We talk about why pleasure can feel unsafe after trauma, how to start with “micro-pleasures” that don’t overwhelm your nervous system, and how to shift from coping forever into actually living. We also get into Lisha’s Reclaim Intimacy work (brain, heart, and “part”) and the stages many survivors move through as they become leaders … Rebuilder, Messenger, Architect.
We wrap with where to find Lisha, what she’s teaching at the Women Thrive Summit, and what she’s building next.
 
We unpack:
Post-traumatic growth (and what it looks like in real life)
Why pleasure can feel terrifying after sexual trauma
“Micro-pleasures” and nervous system re-patterning (without forcing anything)
Identity reclamation … and why you don’t have to stay in the identity of “healing”
Reclaim Intimacy: reconnecting brain, heart, and “part”
The stages of leadership after trauma: Rebuilder, Messenger, Architect
Building a platform, a message, and a legacy from lived experience
Connect with Dr. Lisha Antiqua:lishaantiqua.comyourownuniversity.comTikTok + Facebook: Dr. Lisha Antiqua
 
The Women Thrive Summit:
Watch both Dr. Lisha and my talks free by registering here
 
More from me / the show:whatexcitesus.com
 
And don't forget to get your vulva care products from:Momotaro Apothecahttps://momotaroapotheca.com/GWYN20 or code GWYN20 at checkout
 

The Hidden Connections between Sex, Food and Health with Dr. Dawn Dalili

What if your “health issues” aren’t just hormones… or willpower… or the latest supplement trend?
In this episode, Gwyn talks with Dr. Dawn Dalili, a naturopathic physician who connects the dots between sex, food, shame, boundaries, and what we allow ourselves to feel. We dig into how emotional eating often isn’t about hunger, why guilt is a reliable pleasure-killer, how “being safe” can show up as weight, pain, or fatigue… and the concept that might change everything: the pleasure ceiling, aka how good you believe you’re allowed to feel.
You’ll also hear practical ways to rebuild trust with your body (starting with how you eat), plus why “feeling better” can accidentally turn into “doing more”… unless you build space for actual satisfaction.
 
Please visit Dr. Dalili at dawndalili.com
And Gwyn at WhatExcitesUs.com
 
Don't forget Momotaro Apotheca ( use code GWYN20 for 20% off).

Conflict Happens - The Polyamory Paradox with Irene Morning

If you’ve ever wondered why opening your relationship feels exciting and like your nervous system is staging a coup… this episode is your new best friend. 
In this conversation, I sit down with somatic coach, pleasure witch, and bestselling author Irene Morning, whose book The Polyamory Paradox finally names the body-based realities of non-monogamy that most people tiptoe around.
We talk about: • how your body reacts to big relationship transitions• why “thinking it through” only gets you so far• jealousy, conflict, and co-triggering… and what to do when it all goes sideways• the difference between what someone says and what you hear• listening to your body when you’ve spent years overriding it• micro-practices for regulation, repair, and pleasure• permission to be poly, permission to be monogamous… permission to be YOU
Irene brings humor, nuance, lived experience, and the kind of grounded wisdom that makes everything feel less overwhelming and more possible. Whether you’re polyamorous, poly-curious, monogamous, or still deciding… this episode gives you real tools for real relationships, rooted in body awareness and compassion.
 
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Exploring Psilocybin’s Healing Potential with Amory Jane

What if the same medicine that helps you face your shadows could also melt sexual shame and reconnect you to pleasure?
This week I sit down with Amory Jane—sex educator, mom, and one of Oregon’s first licensed psilocybin facilitators—to talk about the very real places where psychedelics and sexuality meet. We get into the messy, beautiful stuff: what “set and setting” actually look like in the real world, how a facilitated journey unfolds start-to-finish, and why integration (not the trip) is where so much healing lands.
Amory shares how Measure 109 opened the door in Oregon, what a skilled facilitator does (and never does), and the ways psilocybin can support folks navigating anxiety, depression, PTSD, and PMDD. We also dig into releasing sexual shame, learning to trust your body again, and building relationships with more honesty and consent. Plus, yes—her delightfully nerdy side project: handcrafted, sex-positive furniture.
If you’re curious about legal psychedelic work, trauma-aware sex education, or you just want a compassionate, grounded conversation about healing and pleasure—this one’s for you.
Find Amory Jane:
Website: https://www.amoryjane.com/
Psilocybin services (Fractal Soul / Triumphant Unfolding): https://www.triumphantunfolding.com/
Sex-positive furniture: Amory.Design

OCD, Anxiety & Intimacy: Why We Don't Talk About It (But We Should) - An Encore Episode

What if the thoughts you were most ashamed of weren’t actually you—but symptoms of OCD?  And what if those thoughts were silently sabotaging your intimacy, relationships, and sense of self?
 
Most people think OCD is only about handwashing and perfectionism—but what happens when it shows up in your sex life, your relationships, or the thoughts you’re terrified to say out loud?
In this episode, I’m joined by licensed clinical social worker Sarah Hazleton to explore the lesser-known faces of OCD, including relationship OCD, sexual intrusive thoughts, and “Pure O.” We talk about how OCD hijacks intimacy, triggers shame, and convinces people they are their thoughts—when they’re not.
Sarah explains what OCD actually is, why intrusive thoughts are so common (and so misunderstood), and the gold-standard treatment that works: Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). We also discuss how to find the right therapist, red flags to watch for, and why traditional talk therapy can actually make OCD worse.
If you or someone you love has ever thought:❌ “What if I secretly don’t love my partner?”❌ “What if I’m attracted to the ‘wrong’ person?”❌ “What if my thoughts mean something is deeply wrong with me?”
—this episode is the one you’ve been waiting for.
🧠 Article referenced: https://www.verywellmind.com/impact-of-ocd-on-sex-life-5086811🌿 Connect with Sarah: https://www.hazeltoncounseling.com
Released in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month. Because intrusive thoughts don’t make you broken—they make you human. And help is possible.

Aging and the Power of Pleasure with CJ

Aging isn’t the end of desire—it can be the gateway to your erotic evolution. 💥
In this conversation, CJ of No Shame with CJ shares how she went from quiet and compliant to boldly pursuing pleasure, non-monogamy, and kink—and why midlife is the perfect time to rewrite the rules. We get into hormone shifts, self-advocacy with doctors, queering jealousy, and building a pleasure practice that supports brain health and longevity. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it too late for me?” this one’s your permission slip.
Connect with CJ and grab her freebies:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/noshamewithcjWebsite: https://www.noshamewithcj.com/

Asexuality & Aromanticism: Beyond the Myths with Aubri Lancaster

What if “not feeling it” isn’t a problem to fix—but a valid orientation?
This week, AASECT- and Ante Up!–certified sexuality educator Aubri Lancaster joins me to unpack the rich, nuanced worlds of asexuality and aromanticism—far beyond the usual myth-busting. Aubri shares her path from hosting adult toy parties to discovering her own asexual and gray-romantic identities, and how language finally gave shape to experiences she’d had all along.
We explore the difference between sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, emotional, and intellectual attraction; why micro-labels can be liberating, not limiting; and how self-identification helps people set needs, boundaries, and find community. We also touch on insights from the Asexual Community Survey, the fluidity of orientation over a lifetime, and the social pressure to make ace experiences “palatable.”
If you’ve ever wondered where you fit on the spectrum—or how to better love the people in your life who don’t center sex or romance—this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and a bigger, kinder vocabulary for being human.

Tied to Something Real: Shibari, Scent & the Sacred Art of Connection with Francis Bollwage

What if rope and aroma could quiet the noise of modern life and plug you back into real, felt connection—body, heart, and spirit?
Gwyn sits down with Francis Bollwage—rope artist, facilitator, and self-described “label-resistant” human—whose near-death experience rewired his path from addiction and numbness to a mission of deep human connection. Francis shares how discovering the BDSM community (and especially Shibari/Japanese rope bondage) helped him work through touch aversion, build trust, and create spacious, non-sexual intimacy. He breaks down the therapeutic and spiritual sides of rope, why he pairs it with aromatherapy/essential oils (hello, scent–memory pathways), and how guided imagery and “rope space” can feel like a shamanic journey. You’ll also hear how his Embrace Love workshops use simple, clothing-on ties, breath, and scent to help partners (or new friends) communicate, co-regulate, and remember what presence actually feels like.
You’ll hear about:
From near-death to mission: choosing connection over disconnection
Rope as meditation: safety, consent, and creating “rope space”
Aroma & memory: why certain oils can shift state and anchor experiences
Connection beyond sex: spirituality, sensuality, and community care
Entry-level practices you can learn without prior kink experience
If you’re craving less doom-scrolling and more embodied “I’m right here with you,” this episode offers grounded ways back.