What Excites Us!

From Monogamy to Polyamory to Celibacy - A Journey with Jay House

What happens when you stop defaulting to “the script” and follow your real desires—even if they lead you from monogamy to ENM… and then to celibacy?
Writer and desire-explorer Jay House joins Gwyn for a candid, nuanced journey through identity, intimacy, and integrity. Jay traces her path from straight, monogamous marriage to embracing polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and kink—and why she’s now in a six-month celibacy container to cultivate emotional and nervous-system sobriety. Together they unpack non-romantic but deeply intimate spiritual partnerships, how clear boundaries can make kink non-sexual, and why integration (not more courses) is the missing step in real growth.
You’ll hear about:
Getting honest about desire and letting labels evolve over time
Redefining connection: intimate spiritual partnerships beyond “friends” or “lovers”
Jay’s celibacy experiment: rules, edge cases, and staying accountable
Integration > accumulation: applying BDSM, shamanic kink, and tantra learnings to real life
Knowing your parts (hello, Cranky Baby) for clearer communication and healthier relationships
Connect with Jay:
Substack: https://futuristphilospher.substack.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jaylamarhouse
Resources mentioned:
Mama Gena: https://mamagenas.com/
Kasia Urbaniak: https://www.kasiaurbaniak.com/
Shamanic Kink: https://www.shamanickink.com/
Barbara Carrellas’ Urban Tantra Professionals Training: https://barbaracarrellas.com/
Om Rupani: https://www.omrupani.com/
The Five Personality Types (Stephen Kessler): https://the5personalitypatterns.com/
If you’re rethinking relationship defaults—and craving more sovereignty, clarity, and joy—this episode is a loving nudge to design intimacy on your terms.

Reclaim the Lifegasm you Deserve with Dr. Fanny Leboulanger

Tired of being told to “be your best self” when you’re barely keeping it together? This one’s your permission slip to stop fixing and start living.
Dr. Fannie Leboulanger—family physician, coach, yoga teacher, and host of Your Sexyfied Life—joins Gwyn for a bracing, compassionate convo about stepping out of survival mode and back into your body. Together they bust the “always improve” myth, unpack why being with your messy emotions is wildly courageous, and make the case that sexual energy is life-force energy—your creative spark, not a shame button.
You’ll hear about:
Joy recovery and the real first steps between self-awareness and self-love
Why individualized wellness beats trends and quick fixes
The “non-consensual S/M dungeon of the mind” (and playful ways to defang inner bullies)
How to meet sensations (not stories) so feelings move through in seconds, not days
Reclaiming sexual energy to feel more alive, creative, and connected
If you’ve been chasing “better” and craving relief, this episode is your gentle reset: less hustle, more wholeness—right now.
Connect:
Dr. Fannie: fannyleboulanger.com • Podcast: Your Sexyfied Life
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Your Body’s Yes - From Triggered to Tender: Attachment Styles, Self Consent, & Intimacy with Shelby Avann

What if your body has been telling you the truth about your relationships all along? In this episode, intimacy coach and healer Shelby Avann joins Gwyn to explore how attachment styles, self-consent, and the chakra/energy system shape our love lives and our sex lives—often right down to the physical sensations we feel (hello, crygasms 👋).
Together we cover:
The four attachment styles—how they form and how to move toward secure
Self-consent: slowing down, listening to your body’s yes/no, and rebuilding trust with yourself
How emotional blockages can show up as physical pain (and what to do about it)
Somatic tools you can use today: breathwork, grounding, sensory check-ins, and boundary practice
Reiki and energy work as gentle support for intimacy healing
The Erotic Blueprints (Jaiya) and why mismatched “erotic languages” create friction
Community, kink/tantra curiosities, and creating safer containers for pleasure
Guest: Shelby Avann — intimacy coach, energy healer, and creator of the Intimacy Incubator programs.Find Shelby: shelbyavann.ca • Instagram: @theintimacymistress
Join the conversation: Search “What Excites Us” on Facebook and share your takeaway, or leave a voice note at whatexcitesus.com (SpeakPipe button).If you love the show, support bonus content on Patreon—and remember: you are loved, because I love you. 💗

Own Your Yes: Kink, Consent & Everyday Power

After a wild six months (surgery, moving, kids—life!), Gwyn is back—and flipping the mic. In this conversation from Amy Rowan’s Unlocking Intimacy summit, we get real about how exploring kink can grow self-trust, sharpen communication, and translate into everyday confidence far beyond the bedroom.
Gwyn and Amy unpack the fundamentals that make any sexy connection better: talking outside the bedroom, setting flexible boundaries, using yes/no/maybe lists, and building in check-ins, safe words, and aftercare. You’ll hear practical ideas for starting light and slow, playing with sensation (thuddy vs. stingy), planning scenes that build delicious anticipation (hello, color-coded signals), and why the “bottom” holds real power. Plus: where to find beginner-friendly resources and why porn is entertainment—not education.
If you’re kink-curious or ready to deepen what you already love, this one’s both grounding and permission-giving. Grab the free 10-page starter guide to dipping a toe into kink (earthlydesire.com/k1nkgu1d3), and come join the conversation in the What Excites Us community.

Raising Teens who Relate Well with Ask Auntie Julia from Connection Camp

Ever wonder what it would look like if teens were taught how to have truly healthy relationships before they even left childhood? In this episode, Gwyn Isaacs sits down with Julia Sheldon—aka Auntie Julia of Ask Auntie Julia—to explore her groundbreaking Connection Camp for teens.
Julia shares how the camp creates a safe, inclusive, and fun environment where teenagers learn about consent, boundaries, emotional regulation, and more—all through experiential activities, games, and workshops. From sleeping arrangements to hands-on learning, she gives a behind-the-scenes look at how this camp empowers teens to navigate friendships, romantic relationships, and life with confidence.
They also dive into Julia’s work with adults, showing how the principles of healthy relating apply across every stage of life. Whether you’re a parent, teen, or adult looking to level up your relational skills, this conversation is packed with actionable insights and inspiration.

Reclaiming Pleasure: The Transformative Power of Bodysex

What happens when a room full of vulva owners gather to explore their bodies, share their stories, and reconnect with their pleasure?
In this episode of What Excites Us, certified sex coach and educator Gwyn Isaacs sits down with Jennifer Rahner, a certified Bodysex® facilitator and sex educator, to talk about the magic of the Bodysex experience founded by the legendary Betty Dodson.
Jennifer shares her journey from working in IT to helping people rediscover self-acceptance and pleasure through Bodysex — an intimate group experience centered on anatomy, body awareness, and orgasmic empowerment. Together, Gwyn and Jenn dive into the healing power of sisterhood, the importance of inclusive sexual education, and the bravery it takes to show up, get naked (literally and emotionally), and learn to love your body just as it is.
If you’ve ever struggled with body image, shame, or simply want to feel more connected to your pleasure, this conversation is a beautiful reminder that pleasure is your birthright.
Find Jennifer online:🌐 JenniferRahner.com🌐 Bodysex.com📱 Instagram: @geekysexlove

13 Years in and It's Better Than Ever

What Keeps Desire Alive After 13 Years?
How does sexual connection evolve over time—and can it actually get better the longer you’re together?
Join certified sex coach and educator Gwyn Isaacs on What Excites Us for a fun and revealing conversation with her friend Blue, a heterosexual Gen X man in a long-term monogamous relationship. They dive into the real stuff: sexual practices, communication, exhibitionism, porn (the kind featuring real people), and the ongoing desire to be desired.
Blue opens up about how his sexual journey and evolving self-awareness have deepened his emotional and physical intimacy with his partner of 13 years. From navigating body changes to finding new ways to connect, this episode explores what it really means to stay curious, communicative, and turned on inside a long-term relationship.
If you’ve ever wondered how couples keep the spark alive—or just want a candid peek into the mind of a thoughtful, self-aware man talking openly about sex—this one’s for you.

Folklore, Fairy Tales, & Sex Ed: How Stories Shape Our Sexuality with Dr. Jeanna Jorgensen

What if the fairy tales we grew up with weren’t just bedtime stories, but powerful forces shaping how we think about sex, gender, and relationships?
In this episode of What Excites Us, Gwyn sits down with folklorist and gender studies scholar Dr. Jeanna Jorgensen to explore the fascinating (and sometimes troubling) intersections between folklore and sex education. From moral panics and censorship to fairy tales and gender roles, Jeanna unpacks how culture and storytelling influence the way we learn—or don’t learn—about sex and sexuality.
Together, they discuss:
How folklore transmits cultural beliefs about sex, gender, and morality
The history of sex education, censorship, and the infamous Comstock laws
The role of fairy tales in reinforcing (or challenging) gender roles and heteronormativity
Why understanding folklore can help us dismantle harmful sexual narratives and build more inclusive, accurate sex education
About Jeanna Jorgensen:Jeanna is a folklorist and gender studies scholar with a Ph.D. in Folklore and Gender Studies from Indiana University. She has taught at universities across the U.S., published extensively on gender, sexuality, and folklore, and is currently researching ethical non-monogamies and the history of sex education.
📚 Pick up Jeanna’s book Sex Education 101: https://amzn.to/3ZMbtce🌐 Learn more at: JeannaJorgensen.com | www.folklore101.com🐦 Follow Jeanna on social media: @FoxyFolklorist

Sexual Fantasies as Transformative Stories with Artemesia de Vine

Ever wondered what your sexual fantasies are actually trying to say—and how they could ignite personal growth and epic intimacy?
In this electrifying episode, Gwyn sits down with sexual fantasy coach and writer Artemisia de Vine to explore the deeply layered world of erotic narratives through her unique DeVinery method. Discover:
How fantasy unlocks your psyche and opens new pathways for growth and pleasure.
Why sexual fantasies are clues—not just daydreams, revealing hidden guards like self-identity, worth, or social expectations.
How to approach fantasies as embodied stories that dissolve ego-fronts and lead to peak experiences of oneness.
The DeVinery method’s somatic storytelling—and how it turns your fantasies into living, transformative play.
Strategies for people who feel they don’t have fantasies—and how to begin tuning into your desire.
A free 45-minute lesson (non-explicit and train-friendly!) to help you feel how fantasy can shift your consciousness—grab it at: ArtemisiaDeVine.com.
Whether you're curious about the hidden power of your erotic mind or ready to harness fantasy for deeper connection, this episode will blow your mind—and maybe even whisper the next chapter of your story.

Lady Vivus: Pleasure, Power & Community in Leather & Horns

Step aboard a one-of-a-kind journey into leather, playful transformation, and radical connection with Lady Vivus, the spiritually driven, trans femme Bootblack, Hucow, and Kinky Cruise Director. In this high-vibe episode, she pulls back the curtain on workshops, community rituals, and taboo play that expand pleasure and liberate self-expression.
Expect to explore:
Hucow & Pet Play—from bovine headspace to Moo-mode mastery
Sissyfication & Gender-Affirming Intimacy—ritual as healing and expression
Boot-Blacking & Leather Spirituality—cleaning, honoring, and energetic protection
Community & Accessibility—how to hold safe, affirming spaces that include everyone
Professional Domination with Heart—providing touch, affirmation, and deprogramming shame
This episode is wild, tender, and deeply human. Whether kinkcurious or community-driven, you’ll walk away not just enlightened—but empowered.
Explore more with Lady Vivus:Visit her website | FetLife: Lady_VivusLearn more about Sex Positive World & Sex Positive Portland—links below
Help spread the pleasure:WhatExcitesUs.com